I am a child of divorce. When I was about two years old my parents decided it was best if they were not married. Even at that young age, I remember being relieved. I didn't want to hear my parents fighting anymore. For the next thirteen years I had two homes. It was totally normal for me to spend four days a week at one place and the remaining three at another. Every Thursday my older brother and I packed our bags and went to dad's. I never once thought, “I wish my parents would get back together,” or, “Why can't I have one house?” My parents had a fantastic relationship, which I am thankful for. I attribute my competence and stability to my parent's decision to always put their children first.
Growing up I moved more times than I can remember. Usually it was to different apartments around Newport, but still, lots of change. It would seem logical that the divorce of my parents and numerous relocations would have adverse effects on me. However, I can't think of one thing to complain about. We certainly didn't have a lot of money, but I always felt secure. If I wanted something, I usually got it; within reason. My mom and dad worked very hard in order to make this a possibility. They gave me everything they could, much like Barbara Jennings from A Hope in the Unseen. As I read about Cedric's upbringing and how his mother set him up for success by being a strong role model, I couldn't help seeing similarities in my own life. Witnessing the way my parents treated each other made me not only respect them, but also want to emulate them. I can remember driving to an event at my elementary school with both of my parents in the car. They made each other laugh in ways that only old friends can. My face hurt from smiling so much. I learned how to treat others by watching them. The most effective parenting technique my parents used was leading by example.
My parents never grounded, screamed at, or raised a hand to me. I was a well behaved kid, but I believe it was because of the calm nature they treated me with. I knew from spending time at friend's houses, that not every parent was as low-key as mine were. In middle school, I went to my best friend Kaziah's house frequently. Her mom was strict. She had a list of chores to complete every day, and if she didn't, she was in for a verbal thwack. It always made me uncomfortable to see it, and I'm sure it was even worse for Kaziah. I knew that the way in which her mother handled discipline wasn't helping anyone. In fact it probably had the opposite effect she was hoping for. Instead of teaching respect by giving it, she used fear tactics. Negativity fosters negativity. That style of discipline rubbed me the wrong way, but it did teach me something. What not to do. I knew that what my parents were doing was working. This became obvious throughout my school years when they never had to force me to do anything.
I have had a sense of accountability from a young age; homework became very important to me.The sense of responsibility I felt drove me to complete my work. My self motivation became one of my greatest strengths. I knew when I went to school, I needed to be prepared, because I didn't want to seem like a fool. I cared. I still do. It's not as if I was always dying to do my homework, but it was and is a matter of pride. My work is mine. If I don't get something done, it's no one's fault but my own. I refuse to put out baloney. What I produce is a reflection of me, and therefore should always be my best. I started doing homework for myself, and that has made all the difference.
I will never be able to thank my parents enough for all they have given me. I can only hope they realize how well they raised me. As a result of their united parenting style, I have benefited in countless ways. One of the most important being my strong sense of self. I know that my life is mine, and I can choose to take it wherever I please. I'm sure they hope I make good decisions, but wanting something for another person can only get you so far. I choose the path of righteousness, but I do so for myself.
Dr. Fogleman
18 September 2014
I am a child of divorce. When I was about two years old my parents decided it was best if they were not married. Even at that young age, I remember being relieved. I didn't want to hear my parents fighting anymore. For the next thirteen years I had two homes. It was totally normal for me to spend four days a week at one place and the remaining three at another. Every Thursday my older brother and I packed our bags and went to dad's. I never once thought, “I wish my parents would get back together,” or, “Why can't I have one house?” My parents had a fantastic relationship, which I am thankful for. I attribute my competence and stability to my parent's decision to always put their children first.
Growing up I moved more times than I can remember. Usually it was to different apartments around Newport, but still, lots of change. It would seem logical that the divorce of my parents and numerous relocations would have adverse effects on me. However, I can't think of one thing to complain about. We certainly didn't have a lot of money, but I always felt secure. If I wanted something, I usually got it; within reason. My mom and dad worked very hard in order to make this a possibility. They gave me everything they could, much like Barbara Jennings from A Hope in the Unseen. As I read about Cedric's upbringing and how his mother set him up for success by being a strong role model, I couldn't help seeing similarities in my own life. Witnessing the way my parents treated each other made me not only respect them, but also want to emulate them. I can remember driving to an event at my elementary school with both of my parents in the car. They made each other laugh in ways that only old friends can. My face hurt from smiling so much. I learned how to treat others by watching them. The most effective parenting technique my parents used was leading by example.
My parents never grounded, screamed at, or raised a hand to me. I was a well behaved kid, but I believe it was because of the calm nature they treated me with. I knew from spending time at friend's houses, that not every parent was as low-key as mine were. In middle school, I went to my best friend Kaziah's house frequently. Her mom was strict. She had a list of chores to complete every day, and if she didn't, she was in for a verbal thwack. It always made me uncomfortable to see it, and I'm sure it was even worse for Kaziah. I knew that the way in which her mother handled discipline wasn't helping anyone. In fact it probably had the opposite effect she was hoping for. Instead of teaching respect by giving it, she used fear tactics. Negativity fosters negativity. That style of discipline rubbed me the wrong way, but it did teach me something. What not to do. I knew that what my parents were doing was working. This became obvious throughout my school years when they never had to force me to do anything.
I have had a sense of accountability from a young age; homework became very important to me.The sense of responsibility I felt drove me to complete my work. My self motivation became one of my greatest strengths. I knew when I went to school, I needed to be prepared, because I didn't want to seem like a fool. I cared. I still do. It's not as if I was always dying to do my homework, but it was and is a matter of pride. My work is mine. If I don't get something done, it's no one's fault but my own. I refuse to put out baloney. What I produce is a reflection of me, and therefore should always be my best. I started doing homework for myself, and that has made all the difference.
I will never be able to thank my parents enough for all they have given me. I can only hope they realize how well they raised me. As a result of their united parenting style, I have benefited in countless ways. One of the most important being my strong sense of self. I know that my life is mine, and I can choose to take it wherever I please. I'm sure they hope I make good decisions, but wanting something for another person can only get you so far. I choose the path of righteousness, but I do so for myself.